They Really Were A lot Like Us!
I have loved history for as long as I can remember. But my life long obsession with researching history, digging deeper and getting lost in the past, really began when I was eighteen years old. At eighteen I had not experienced much of the world. I had only left the state of Maine three times. Trips to Disney World in Florida, Lake Ossipee in New Hampshire and a road trip to Ohio to visit my aunt and uncle. I was young, naive and not knowledgable at all about humankind. I was a child of 1960’s. The sexual revolution of that decade having changed the landscape of our culture, or so I thought at the time. In the 1970’s my parents divorced, and by the 1980’s I was bombarded with messages about the destruction of the “nuclear family” in American culture. So by the time I set out on my journey into studying the past I was pretty well convinced that my lifetime was being lived in an era of depravity. That past generations had lived exemplary lives of honesty, wholesomeness and good old fashioned values. Of course I was aware of the atrocities of war, the barbaric things man did to. man, but in my young mind, every day people were better than that. They were better then the generation I was living in. It didn’t take me long to realize my misjudgment!
I think this early foundation of perceiving the past with rose colored glasses is why I am always amazed when I stumble upon pieces of history that don’t fit that narrative. A narrative that still hides in a deep corner of my now more mature brain. As was the case with my blogpost a few weeks ago “This Sheet Music Had One Heck Of A Song To Sing” I’m intrigued when I find our modern day problems staring at me from hundred of years ago. This week I came across a couple of gems just like this. Tidbits from history that prove our problems are not new. Our struggles no different then those others have battled for hundreds of years. Some will probably bring a smile to your face. Others might make you wonder. Either way, I hope you enjoy them!
Published in the Argus & Spectator newspaper, New Hampshire, Dec 12, 1840
On the 11th a lovely couple bolted into the post office in Machias Maine and requested of Honorable J.C. Talbot to be married. No sooner said then done and in the presence of several witnesses upon the production of the necessary certificates were joined “for better or for worse” Mr. John Driscoll, aged 21 years and Mrs. Elizabeth Dimond, aged 65 years.”
Michelle’s thoughts - Uh, well, ya…there you go! If I had the time I would love to research these two further, maybe look for Mrs. Dimond’s will! But maybe I’m being to cynical.
Published in the Sedgwick Maine Vital Records
Sedgwick, January 23, 1811 - this is to certify that I Samuel Black do promise to take the child, that Pattey Doore swore upon David Black, when the child is nine months old and I do promise that the said child shall be well brought up and good care taken of it and if I fail and do not take the child when it is nine months old I do promise to pay the said Pattey Doors seventy five cents per week for every week that she keeps the child after it is nine months old and if I do not take the child at all I promise to pay her the sum of one hundred dollars as witness my hand.
Michelle’s thoughts - a little further digging on this one proved that Samuel Black was assuming custody and care of his grandchild, a child fathered by his son David. If you think unwed mothers, child support, custody battles and grandparents raising their grandchildren are new, they aren’t.
Originally published in The Maine Genealogist 39(2017):113
Sylvester & Elizabeth Stover of York, Maine, had a turbulent marriage. On 3 July 1660, the couple was in court when Elizabeth was charged with abusing her husband “by many reviling & reproachful speeches, as calling of him a roge & rascal.” It appears that Elizabeth had been egged on by her mother, Mrs Margaret Norton, who had moved in with the couple in her widowhood. The Court took a dim view, and laid the blame squarely on the mother and daughter: “Goody Stover for her unruly & indecent carriages towards her husband is bound in a bond of ten pounds to be of good behavior towards all persons especially towards her husband or she shall either pay the forfeiture of the said bond or otherwise she shall receive fifteen lashes on the bare skin. And further if the said Stover shall make any just cause of complaint appearing against Mrs Norton his mother in law, occasioning further differences between him and his wife, that then upon due notice given to said Court, by whom the said Mrs. Norton is then to be removed from the Stovers house or sent to prison if other means cannot prevent her therein.”
Michelle’s thoughts - Horrible Mother-in-laws are not new!! Clearly a case of nuts don’t fall far from the tree. My condolences to Mr. Stover.
Published in the 1880 US Federal Census, St. Louis, Missouri, pg 262A, household #165
Hubbard Manns, age 35 years, country of origin, Prussia. Living with is wife Catherine, also 35 and six children. Hubbard is listed as a “laborer” in the occupation column. Next to Catherine’s name is written “dirty as hell”.
Michelle’s thoughts - Ummmm…. well. Personal hygiene? Or a commentary on her skillset as a housewife?
From the Province and Court Records of Maine Vol. II, York County Court Records
Oct 27, 1668 - Whereas complaint was made to this Court that John Barnet hath offered several abuses to his wife by kicking her, etc, and acknowledging his fault & promising amendment, this Court thinketh meet to pass by & remit his fault for the time past, the fees of the Court being 5s.
July 4, 1671 - We present Mrs Sarah Morgan for striking of her husband. The delinquent to stand with a gag in her mouth half an hour at Kittery at the public town meeting and the cause of offense writ upon her forehead or pay 50s to the County.
Michelle’s thoughts - It would be convenient to call this one out immediately as a double standard, and it truly could be given the time period. But it’s a moment in time, and as noted a few weeks ago our lives are not made up of just one moment. What could be missing here is that John Barnet was an honorable man who was under an extreme amount of stress, as we all experience in our lives, and lost his cool in the heat of a moment. One moment. Mrs. Morgan could have had a revolving door with the Court in regards to her attitude toward her husband and therefore this moment was in response to the Courts weariness of having to deal with her again and again. It’s also fair to say that her husband could have been a horrible man and she was reacting to the toxic environment she lived in. Wherever the truth lies, these tidbits show that, sadly, domestic violence is not a new problem.
From Calendar of State Papers, Colonial Series, America and West Indies 1661-1668; A 1665 description of the settlement on the Kennebec River.
Upon the north-east side of Kennebec River, upon Sheepscot River, and upon Pemaquid, eight or ten miles asunder, are three small plantations belonging to his Royal Highness, the biggest of which has not above 30 houses, and very mean ones too, spread over at least eight miles. The people, for the most part fishermen, never had any government, and most of them have fled from other places to escape justice. Some are of the opinion that as many men may share in a woman as they do in a boat, and some have done so….
Michelle’s thoughts - Well…ummm! Sex is not new and history is certainly interesting!