You’re Just An Ordinary Human Being
As it is with most of us, if you are an avid reader, you collect books with the intention of reading them, someday and then, well, actually you never do. Unbeknownst to me until just a year or so ago, all of those un read books lining my bookshelves or stacked in neat piles on the floor are considered my TBR books. TBR meaning To Be Read. I did not know this was a thing. As noted in other blog posts, although I’m an avid reader and read daily, I somehow got left out of the loop of the literary minded or connected. A TBR list was nothing I was ever familiar with. All I knew was that I had a book problem and I would probably never live long enough to read all of the books I dragged home.
And I’m not kidding when I say I have a book problem. I will bring home books by the dozens! I bring books home by the bags full! Goodwill is one of my favorite places for picking up used books. It was actually in a Goodwill that I first realized I had a problem. I spotted a book that looked so intriguing that I immediately purchased it. I went home and was just about to place it lovingly on the shelf, aside all of the other books I still had not read yet, when I realized I already owned that book! Apparently there was a reason why I liked the look of that book so much! I already had it! Had not read it yet and now I owned two copies! Lucky me!
My book problem was reinforced to me again this week as I sat staring at all of the books I own. I’ve been going through a purging phase. You know that feeling that hits you every once in a while when you have to clean out closets. Toss items that have been stashed away under cupboards. Look seriously at the amount of “stuff” we accumulate and take stock on whether you really need it all or not. That has been my life for the past couple of weeks. After purging myself of everything I could within the closets and cupboards of the house, I was now faced with my books. There really were to many of them and if I was going to be thorough in this cleansing moment there were books that were going to have to go! The time had come to make the difficult decisions.
Immediately I was faced with finding two copies of yet another book on two different book shelves! I had a hard cover version, as well as a paperback. For those keeping score that is now TWICE that I’ve purchased multiple copies of the same book! This purging decision seemed easier as it was a no brainer to keep the hardcover and put the paperback in the box to be donated. Not really a sacrifice and I didn’t feel like I had harmed any books in the making of this decision.
Others were easy too. Like all of the gardening books that I’ve carried around with me for 30+ years. I’m a pretty experienced gardener now and if there is something I’m questioning I can look that up on the internet, right? So those all went. As did the home remedies books for both people and dogs, again we live in a world with access to knowledge in the palm of our hands.
There were books I bought with great intentions of actually using them, that in reality I never did. So those went quickly. Books like “Daily Rituals - How Artists Work”. I think I was looking for guidance on becoming a creative writer. Nope didn’t use that one. Another… “A Mindful Year - 365 Thoughtful Writing Prompts”, also never used. Apparently I don’t need promptings to write! And then my personal favorite “Badass Body Goals - The Booty Shaping & Resistance Training Journal.” Ya….never used that one. Just gonna let that go with no further explanation!
And then there was the book pictured above, “The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows” by John Koenig. I actually remember buying this one. I bought two, but on purpose! Gave one to my daughter-in-law who is also a book lover and I knew it was just weird enough that she would enjoy it as much as I did! That’s why I love her, she’s weird in a book kind of way just like me.
So the premise of this book, this dictionary of obscure sorrows, is that we are all struggling with the fundamental strangeness of being human. All the ups and downs, the sorrows, the joys, all of it. That part of getting up every morning and just living, it’s hard work being a human! This book was full of new words, made up, created just recently, not found in any other dictionary kind of words, that describe the feelings and struggles we all face just being human.
Have you ever been to Walmart late at night and had the whole store to yourself? The building that is usually bustling with people and energy is now strangely quiet as you push your cart with the squeaky wheel toward the frozen foods all alone. It’s kind of eerie and according to this dictionary of new words, the word to describe that is kenopsia. Don’t ask me why, I don’t profess to understand these things, I only bought the book.
Others that caught my attention were bye-over: that weird moment when you’ve had a very emotional farewell with someone only to realize you actually have a few extra minutes left together. Awkward. Or keir which describes the let down you feel when you try to recreate a beloved memory from your childhood only to have it fall flat and feel just weird. I liked tirosy just simply because I’m feeling old lately. Tirosy describes that touch of envy and admiration you feel for younger people who are so full of energy and the promises of their potential.
As I stood there holding this book in my hand, staring at the donate box, contemplating whether this book needed to go or stay, I found comfort in knowing that even though these words were all made up, what the book truly represented was that we all experience the same things. We are all humans, all struggling, all experiencing pretty much the same things on any given day. I think we need to remember that more. So I kept the book. It’s still on my shelf. To be picked up on another day when I’m feeling bookishly weird but yet still human. When I want to remember I’m not alone in this journey of being an ordinary human being.