“Don’t Worry About The Buffalo Chicken Dip!”

So if you caught my post on Facebook last Friday you know I didn’t publish a blog last week because, well it was Christmas week and I had a terrible case of laryngitis. Not that I actually need to speak to write this blog, I don’t, but between the hustle and bustle of the holiday season and not being able to talk, I just said, to heck with it! My apologies to those that were looking forward to the weekly installment of my crazy life.

So now Christmas is officially over. I hope you had a joyous day whether it was with family around the sparkling Christmas tree or you found yourself enjoying a day that didn’t quite fit the norm. If you found yourself in the latter category, the not so normal Christmas, I want you to know I was right there with you!

My Christmas morning started out pretty typical. Well typical for people in that age group where all of the children are grown and gone. They’ve moved away, and so the grandchildren, or in my case, all of the grandchildren except for one, live far away. Christmas morning has morphed from getting woken up at dawn to the squeals and delight of small children seeing that Santa has arrived, to laying around in bed until 8:00 and then leisurely getting up to make a cup of coffee. That is not necessarily a bad thing! I had plans to spend the day with family, but it would be later in the afternoon. Three o’clock to be precise is the time I was expected at my son’s house, with my buffalo chicken dip. If you miss that reference, scroll back a few blog entries to November and read my blog on holiday parties!

So after making my coffee I made myself a nice hearty breakfast of two poached eggs and two pieces of toast on homemade bread that my daughter-in-law had given me a few days prior. It was delicious! After breakfast I sat on the couch and read a book for a while, then got up and laid out my Christmas outfit, a cute little red and green top that has Christmas trees on it. I was feeling festive and would arrive at my son’s house for Christmas dinner in the full Christmas spirit!

Around 11:00 I decided to start making the coveted buffalo chicken dip. I turned on some Christmas music, I was feeling more and more in the spirit. Around noon I got the dip loaded into the crock pot, set on high and then decided it was such a nice day, that I would go for a walk. I mean there aren’t to many Christmases in Maine where the ground is bare and it’s almost 50 degrees, it was to nice to stay inside! So I set out for a nice hour long walk. It was a great day for a walk. Very few cars, not many people roaming around. Although I did see a few couples and people with their dogs out doing the same thing I was doing. Burning as many calories as possible before loading up on more at someone’s house later.

As I completed my hour long loop and was headed back to the house I realized I was feeling hungry. Not wanting to eat to much before the big Christmas dinner, I thought about the little bit of homemade bread that was left over from my breakfast. Just enough, if I cut it carefully, that I could get two small slices and make myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Just enough to tied me over until the Christmas ham but not enough to be full. I picked up my pace a bit more in anticipation of the last of that delicious homemade bread.

Back in my kitchen, my sneakers off and in the boot tray by the back door, I reached for the bread knife and the little bit of bread. I’m not really sure exactly what happened next, all I know is I didn’t cut that bread well at all. Instead I did a great job of cutting two of my fingers very deeply and blood began spurting all over my kitchen! I flipped the faucet on quickly and stuck my hand under the water. Oh dear, what I saw was not pleasant at all. I reached across the counter and pulled a huge wad of paper towels off the roll. I wrapped both fingers of my left hand really tight and then squeezed them together with my right hand and raised my arms above my head. Because, you know, I had to stop the bleeding and find a bandaid. Maybe a couple of really big bandaids.

Right at that moment my cellphone pinged. I glanced down at it lying on the counter. It was my son. “Hey Mom, how’s your Christmas going? Can’t wait to see you!” I laughed. Well my Christmas had been going really well, until just this minute! So I let go of my left hand long enough to text back. “Just cut my hand.” Which got an immediately reply. “MOM!!!” Then I kid you not I got another text message from a friend. “Merry Christmas! How’s your day?” The thought occurred to me that I couldn’t write a story better then this one!

Letting go of my fingers again, I pulled back on the wad of paper towels and peeked inside. Blood was pouring everywhere, this wasn’t stopping. And as much as I love bandaids, I knew this was to big of a job for them. So I changed out the wad of paper towels for a new wad and texted my son. “Headed to the ER, I’m ok.” He texted back, “Don’t worry about the buffalo chicken dip!” Uhhhh ok, because honestly I wasn’t even thinking about it! But you can all see now how loved this buffalo chicken dip is! So I reached for the crockpot and turned it down to low. I then shot him a text. “It’s on low, it will be fine.” The response, “Ok GOOD!” Honestly I could not write a better story then this!

As I walked toward the door, my right hand squeezing my left hand tightly I stared down at my sneakers. Still tied tightly from my walk, because I’m one of those people who just steps on the back of my shoe to take them off. Leaving them still tied until I need to wear them again, when I will sit down and untie them so I can get my feet in. My grandmother always hated it that I did that.

Well now standing there, both of my hands in use on a far more serious matter, I stared at my tied sneakers and realized I probably should have listened to my grandmother. I kicked them toward the couch and then sat down, quickly releasing my right hand I pulled on the laces of each shoe until I managed to get them loose enough that I was able to slip my feet in. But blood was soaking through my paper towel wad yet again, so I changed it out with a fresh wad, squeezed even tighter, looped my arm through my purse and headed for the car!

The drive to the ER wasn’t all that bad, except for the constant warning voice of the lady who lives in my car “Drivers seat belt not detected!” No kidding! I drove with both of my hands on the steering wheel. The badly bleeding left hand being squeezed by my right hand. Not sure how much actual steering was going on but I made it to the ER safely and even found a parking spot close by! I mean it was Christmas, how many other people were spending their day here? Three to be exact, along with a collection of very festively dressed medical staff. What a fun alternative to the “normal” Christmas I thought!

I walked in and explained my situation. Bread knife, honestly. Thankfully one of the nurses noticed my untied shoes and offered to tie them for me. I thought that was very nice! Such a giving gesture on this day of giving. I then sat in the waiting room, still clutching my blood soaked paper towels, and chatted with a young mother who’s baby daughter had stopped breathing but seemed perfectly fine now. Which I thought must be a Christmas miracle for them all. Behind me was a couple quietly discussing laxatives and a young man who looked a bit under the weather. What an interesting group of people I was spending my Christmas Day with! Again the thought occurred to me, I couldn’t write this day any better from an entertainment stand point! I mean how boring Christmas must be for all those folks sitting around their Christmas trees at home just opening gifts! I had passed through a metal detector in an emergency room and was now chatting with total strangers! My day was amazingly interesting at this point.

Finally my name was called and I was taken out back. Again I got to spend some quality time with wonderful medical professionals, both of which had given up their family time to be available for people like me who had decided to try something a little different for Christmas this year. After removing my wad of paper towel there was much discussion on how deep the cuts were and it was possible they needed to do an X ray. I didn’t think so and that’s when I pointed out that I had to have the buffalo chicken dip at my son’s by 3:00. It was now after 2:00, we were wasting time, there would be no X rays.

I will say this, my Christmas adventure at the ER was not without a spiritual component. It was obvious my hand was going to have to be numbed up in order for my fingers to be stitched back together. The doctor was very honest when he told me that he was going to have to inject me twice. Once on the inside of my hand, right at the base of my middle finger and a second one on the back of my hand. But I wouldn’t feel the one of the back of my hand, the first one would be the worst. Gotcha, let’s do this! I looked away and he inserted the needle and he wasn’t kidding. I made sure I mentioned who’s birthday it was on this Christmas Day at least a couple of times before he finished! He apologizing for the pain he was causing, me apologizing for swearing on Christmas!

Soon I was numbed up, stitched up, bandaged up and shot up! I had to have a tetanus shot because I had no idea when my last one was. And before I knew it my Christmas time at the hospital was over and I headed for my car. But not before I stopped at the nursing station and thanked them all again for being so helpful and wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. There is just something really nice about saying Merry Christmas to total strangers.

It was 3:15 when I got to my car and texted my son that I would be out shortly. He offered to come pick me up, possibly wanting to make sure the buffalo chicken dip made it safely, but I insisted that I would be fine. I mean really now that I could use my hands independently of each other, I felt like I was on top of the world! Although one of them was numb and I had no idea what it was doing! I was still in a better position then I had been a couple of hours ago. I hurried home and then realized I wasn’t going to be taking a shower or changing into my nice Christmas outfit. Nope Christmas this year meant leggings and a miss matched T-shirt. Oh who cares, this was still the most interesting Christmas I could remember!

And honestly I couldn’t have written this day any better! They say truth is stranger then fiction and my Christmas this year proved that to be true! But it also proved another point. They say 80% of your experience in life is based on your attitude. I could have woken up Christmas morning and been sad that my children all live far away, sad that my nest is empty. That Santa doesn’t stop by anymore. I could have sat in front of the TV or on social media and compared my not so typical Christmas to the lives of others and been sad. I could have bemoaned my fate with the bread knife, avoided talking to the others in the waiting room of the ER, piled on the sadness of how much my Christmas sucked and then taken that to my son’s house and ruined his Christmas too.

But I didn’t, because that’s not how I roll. There is joy in every moment of our lives, you just have to look for it. And there’s humor too! Which I later found out as I tried opening gifts with a numbed up hand! Now that was funny!!!

And don’t worry….I can type just fine even with two bandaged fingers! Work on the prequel continues!