I Know You Are Cute And All, But…

This week I’d like to introduce you to my chipmunk. That’s him, or her, as I really don’t know, in the picture above. We have a bit of a history together. Or I’m assuming we do as I think it’s the same chipmunk I’ve been interacting with, but I’m not sure. Let me give you our history.

Early last Fall I had the door open because it was a beautifully warm day, and in Maine we try to capture as many of those as we can, especially in the waning days before winter blows in! I had the door wide open because there was no screen door. Yes I knew I was letting in flies, and probably a few other insects, but it was a small price I was willing to pay to let in as much fresh air as possible. What I didn’t even think about was that my open door apparently was an open invitation to this little critter to come on in as well!

I stood in a room to the side of the door, with my face looking downward at my computer when I caught a glimpse of the chipmunk as it cautiously made its way through the open door and into the building. I’m not a fan of rodents! And I know I’m treading down a path of disagreement with a lot of you on this, but hear me out, chipmunks, no matter how cute, are just bigger mice in my opinion. Somewhere between a mouse and rat. A slightly plump hamster, which I also can’t stand, or a mini guinea pig, also a no no in my book. I get it that they appear all cute and cuddly but I don’t like them. I have a friend who posts annually on social media photos of his chipmunk he has aptly named Chippy. I’m not sure if his chipmunk is the same one every year, but he thinks it is and that’s all that matters. Phil if you are reading this, I’m sorry. My love hate relationship with my chipmunk will never allow me to give it a name.

When I spotted the chipmunk inside the building I immediately ran towards it. Hoping that it would turn around and run out the door it had entered which was only a few feet behind it. Logic would have deemed this the best course of action. Turn around and exit quickly via the way you came in before the crazy lady screaming at you gets any closer. Clearly my chipmunk is not logical. Instead, he or she, decided darting into the interior of the building even further was a smarter choice.

This situation now became a stand off between the two of us. The chipmunk cowering behind a table and a few chairs, me standing there staring at it trying to figure out if I could get across the room to the broom. Because for some reason a broom seemed like a logical solution to me! Clearly this chipmunk and I are more alike than I want to believe. I will admit to speaking to the chipmunk, although I’m sure my words were not kind. Probably ran along the lines of “Well you little bugga! You can’t be in here!” All the while he/she is probably thinking “Well you left the door open!” After a few minutes I decided that the broom was the logical solution and I made a dash to my right to try and grab it. Chipmunk then made a dash to his/her right and ran into another room!

Faced now with the chipmunk having moved even deeper into the building I headed straight for the door of this third room, brandishing my broom before me. “You little son of a ——” I did not finish the sentence because right at that moment, as I swung the broom before me and reached for the handle of the door, convinced the little thing was probably hiding behind the door, Chipmunk decided that the best defense was an overwhelming offense and it literally came flying at me from behind the door! I’m still traumatized by what I witnessed. All four arms and legs were outstetched as it leapt into the air right at me. It’s mouth open so I could see it’s razor sharp teeth. It too yelled at me, more like a screech but if I could translate what he/she was saying into English I’m pretty sure it was similar to the words I myself had already uttered! I retreated quickly from the room before the claws that I could see at the end of those cute little “hands” could sink into my flesh. Chipmunk had won. I resumed my place in front of my computer, keeping one eye on the open door and after about 15 minutes or so Chipmunk nonchalantly walked out of the building tossing a quick look of accomplishment over it’s shoulder at me. As if to lay the ground rules for how our relationship would be. My only thought was game on Buddy! Game on!

So it did not surprise me when I spotted said Chipmunk again at the end of February. Sitting on it’s hind legs at the edge of the driveway. It watched me as I got out of my car. Pretty sure at that exact moment we both had the same thought “Oh it’s YOU!” Clearly my chipmunk is of an aggressive nature because the first thing he/she did was to actually come into my house a few days later. And not through an open door this time! Trust me I am not leaving any doors flung open in March in Maine, no matter how warm our winter has been! No Chipmunk wanted me to know that this was his/her terrain. That I was the invader here. I was the one clearly unfamiliar with the hierarchy and rules of this place. Chipmunk came in through a hole under the basement door. It was then that I spotted the tell tale signs that my house was not my own, no matter how brave I thought I was, broom or no broom.

For the next several days Chipmunk and I stared each other down across the property. The warmer spring like days gave me ample opportunity to be outside and I chased Chipmunk out from around the house several times. Even spotting a hole in the ground near a rock wall that I thought might belong to it. So I stuffed it full of rocks. There! Take that! I felt like a victor! I also felt more in control as I searched Amazon for traps and bait. Add to Cart! Our relationship had clearly taken a dark turn.

Then just a few days ago, as I was out walking the property, Chipmunk and I came face to face. When I say face to face I am not kidding. As noted in the picture above the little bugga was perched in a tree. A tree that I had my eye on and had been purposefully walking toward for a reason. it was an old apple tree and had been on my radar for a while. I was out to mark this tree specifically, so to find Chipmunk in it was only a bonus.

I came to within inches of this tree and Chipmunk never even flinched. Convinced I believe that he/she has the upper hand, that I had retreated last Fall in fear. That I am actually only a guest in my own house as Chipmunk was safely ensconced in the insulation of the basement wall long before I arrived. Said Chipmunk has reached a level of over confidence that will be his/her undoing.

As I stood there staring at it, he/she staring back at me, I was so close that if I had a mind to I bet I could have reached out and petted it’s fuzzy adorable little head. I did not have a mind to do that! It did not move as I reached into my pocket for my phone. So confident that if it just jumped toward me I would run away, it stood its ground on the tree. That’s when I noticed there was a hole in the tree. Ahhhh this tree was it’s home! Maybe like a summer place when Chipmunk is not spending winters in my basement! I snapped a few pictures of Chipmunk before sliding my phone back into my pocket.

I then spoke. “I see you are not afraid of me at all are you?” I asked it, it’s beady little black eyes watching my every move. “Maybe we got off on the wrong foot.” I said soothingly. “Let me introduce myself.” I said moving even closer to the tree, I was surprised that Chipmunk still didn’t move. “I own this place and subsequently I own this tree!” I said reaching forward to wrap the bright orange marking tape I carried with me around the tree. Chipmunk jumped down at that point and scurried into the under brush as I continued to tie off the tape that indicated this tree needed to be cut down. I yelled into the trees in the direction that Chipmunk had run. “I’m cutting down this tree buddy! Cutting it down!”

I’m sure this is not the end of my interactions with Chipmunk. Just as I’m sure I am probably dealing with more then one chipmunk! This is going to be a battle of epic proportions.

I’ll keep you posted!